So I decided to wear a dress today, and always, always you get the question "why are you dressed up today?" And I couldn't help but giggle inside, because really, I was more comfortable than an over-sized man sitting in a recliner. So I decided to put together a list, of why dresses are sometimes better than jeans.
Top 10 Reasons Why Dresses Are Sometimes Better than Jeans
10. You can ballet plie' so much easier
9. No elastic waistbands!
8. When you run, you feel like you're a victim in a thriller movie, just because you never plan on running in a dress.
7. You can trick people into thinking your pregnant by pushing your shoulders forward, puffing your stomach out, rubbing your belly, and walking on your feet like you just walked the Revlon for Cancer Walkathan. Fishing for compliments wearing makeup and heels is trite and overused I must say! Now fishing for observations, that's technique.
6. You can go bra-less and not look like a ho! Fuck you, not my fault this dress has awkward fitting criss-cross-halter-like-spaghetti straps!
5. No pockets! Wearing cargo pants is like an open invitation to hold random people's chap-sticks. No excuse this time! Looks like you're going to have to hold it, maybe then you'll remember how chaffed your lips really are, and quench your lips that are screaming "i'm thirsssty, rub that stick of wax on meh".
4. If you sit indian style, tuck your dress under your feet, you look like you're in a sleeping bag pouch. (If it's long enough)
3. Going to the grocery store wearing pants is a chore, going to the grocery store in a dress is productive!
2. Taking time to plan what pants you want to wear is time consuming enough, let alone worrying about what shirt to wear! With a dress, it's all-in-one! Why do you think parents love onesies so much? Minus the snaps of course!
1. They just are
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